Finding Ourselves on the Autism Spectrum

Nothing in particular

I want to post something today, partly because I’m all about momentum and don’t want to lost what I have going, and partly because I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy about finding this wonderful community and just want to say hi and I’m very grateful you are all here.

Just us Aspies

The neurotypical family members have all gone out to a hockey game, and my oldest and I have the place to ourselves.   Other than me checking in with him once in a while to make sure no surprise problems have developed, we’re mostly off in our own spaces doing our own things.  We both enjoy our alone time and the peace and quiet when no one is trying to get us to do something interactive that’s supposed to be more fun than what we actually want to do.

Limited attention

I haven’t yet figured out what time setting my blog is on – I can only handle learning a little at a time, but I’m writing in the middle of evening, and my deeper thoughts processes just don’t function by this point, especially when I was up early this morning getting the oldest up and ready for an all-day activity.  I have trouble convincing my husband about this time of day thing about me, as he seems pretty much the same all through the day.  If you want to discuss something important with me, it had better be before I mentally shut off  for the night. Also when there aren’t too many other things going on at the same time.  You may think I’m taking it all in, but it’s likely that I’m really not.

The thing that happened

I did something silly last evening.  My ASD oldest son was waiting for a turn on the basement PC and decided it might be fun to beat mom in a friendly game of Blokus.  We bought this for the 7-year old, because the teenager wouldn’t like a gift in a box that said ages 5 and up, but we knew it was more along his line.  He commented on the fact that someone had restuck the sticky parts on the sides of the box that keep it from opening when it’s still in the store.  Odd, but life around here is usually odd, and I don’t ask too many questions about things that don’t seem to present a significant problem.  The little plastic pieces were still sealed in baggies inside the box, too.  This was surprising and we both commented that we thought the game, which was a Christmas present this year, had already been played by the other family members on a previous evening.  I especially remembered this, because as I was leaving to take the oldest to another activity, the comment was made by my middle son that he’d enjoy a chance to play the game and maybe even win once while his big brother was away.  My oldest doesn’t lose many games of anything, especially when there’s a definite strategy to winning 🙂  So we decided maybe we were mistaken and moved on.

Playing games

So we played our game, and since I had never played and had no idea what was going on until I could already see that I was way behind , he crushed me.  I did get better towards the end, when I knew more of what was going on.  I have to actually see a strategy played out to get it.  Middle son requested a bit more time to finish what he was doing on the PC, so the oldest asked to teach me a simplified version of a  game he really likes, which is called Go, while he waited.  At first I refused, because even my hubby gets completely frustrated trying to play this kid in Go. (Hubby doesn’t lose many games, either, and is having trouble adjusting to the fact that he just can’t beat this kid 🙂  If Hubby can’t take him, I’m just going to get pummeled, and we already did that once.  But he really seemed to want to teach me, and we actually end up having a very nice time, because he’s really quite pleasant in teaching mode.

Remembering

Fast forward to today.  I was straightening up just a little – because I’m the only female in the house, and it’s the only way anything is getting picked up EVER – and I noticed the Blokus game sitting out.  As I put it away, I noticed another Blokus game sitting under a pile of our other games.  And Then I Remembered.  Hubby had bought a second Blokus game weeks ago, because the price was just So Good, and he planned to hang onto it as a possible gift for someone later.  When my oldest was opening the sealed up Blokus game, it somehow never dawned on me that maybe this was The Second Game.  Understand, the males in my house are packrats, and I long ago stopped being able to keep track of what all is in our home at any given time.  Also, I’m going to go ahead and blame my husband for not stashing the second game somewhere that the kids wouldn’t come across it.  But still, this doesn’t reflect particularly well on my mental faculties.

Amusement

It was over an hour before I sensed the right casual moment to tell both my Aspie boy and my husband what had happened.   I couldn’t even say it without cracking up when I was only partway through.  At first Hubby just stared at me.  Then, in a disbelieving voice and with a quizzical look, he says “You didn’t.”  And Aspie boy and I both started cracking up.  Hubby was perfectly accepting of the whole thing, but we both know he’s going to be giving me a hard time about this for quite a while to come, because that’s what we do.   Once again, just because I  look like I’m with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am 🙂

I’m tired, and the guys are  back from their game.  Good night all.

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Comments on: "Nothing in particular" (9)

  1. That’s so funny that you opened the game and played with it! Maybe you can still give it to someone and tell them you checked it out to make sure it works!!

    My favorite times are when the house is quiet and I can focus on whatever I want to without being interrupted. My son can be in a separate room doing his own thing more than most kids, but he does still want my attention quite a bit (I’m not complaining, just that I need to have some down time). My husband actually takes him out of town occasionally so I can have a couple of days to myself now and then.

    • At least it wasn’t anything expensive 🙂

      I’m glad you have a way to get some time to yourself. It’s wonderful spending time with our kids, but it’s hard to function without some time to regroup and re-energize.

  2. I’m so glad that you and Hubby can laugh about these glitches. You’re living with packrats, which would make it hard for anyone to keep up with what people are saving things for. To avoid further mishaps, it might make sense to tape a note to stuff with an indication of what it’s for, like “This is being saved for a gift. Do not open or use.” When you’re overstimulated, and raising kids, and getting up early, and going to bed late, and lots of stuff is going on, it’s hard to keep all this stuff in your head.

    My husband is a bit of a saver. I tend to chuck things out regularly. We have a big attic, which I’ve organized so that his stuff is in one place, and my stuff is in another. That way, if there’s something he wants to save, it’s in his part of the attic, and I know to ask about it before using it (or chucking it out). 🙂

    • Thanks, Rachel. Those are genuinely useful suggestions. I’m glad we’re able to laugh about some things now that used to be sources of more stress, too. It’s an uphill struggle here, as no one but me really sees the point of maintaining any order. But these are even things I could do myself in the moment before I have a chance to forget what something’s for. And if I do forget … well, then, everyone can just live with the result or try making a change themselves.

      I’m a bit annoyed that my husband was rewarded at work for being a packrat, because he had saved some compressor parts for no particular reason and had a supply of them handy when they were needed for an unexpected problem. I’m pleased that he had the chance to save the day, but it completely reinforces behavior that I’m trying to discourage. I guess it just goes to show that neither of us is right or wrong, and there are advantages to different ways of doing things 🙂

  3. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does daft things! Lists and labels save my sanity!

    • So I’m not alone? That’s very good to hear.

      You know, I actually developed a problem with losing the lists that I wrote things down on 🙂 I would have all these little post-it notes with important things to remember and then misplace them. The notepad function on my phone has been wonderful, because I can keep a list with me when I leave the house and not lose track of it. And I have lots of alerts programmed in that go off through the day to remind me to do things. I think now I will need to start using labels more to keep track of everyone else’s things the way I use lists and alerts to keep track of their schedules 🙂

      Thanks for leaving a comment.

  4. We have lots of duplicates here, from books to games, because we have a hard time keeping track of it all. If you saw our place, you’d know why instantly. 🙂

    It’s our quirks that make life interesting!

  5. testing 2

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